Sunday, February 20, 2011

Ramayanam -- Lessons learned

If the title suggests that it is a consolidation of all the lessons learned from Ramayan, then i am sorry.. This post is meant to share my views on a particular thought..

Generally there is a saying/belief that girls wish for a husband like Rama. After analysing the epic, my personal opinion is that, i don't need a husband like Rama.. Seriously.. I would rather prefer a common man to Rama. The reasons being :

Rama never considered His wife's happiness.. His predominant thought was "Rajneethi". This could be compared to the current scenario of workaholic guys.. He was focussed only on "Rajneethi", these guys are focussed only in "system"

Simple wishes for a girl would be "My husband should be with me, He should share the joyful moments of parenthood - right from conception to upbringing". Just two simple wishes. Was Rama ever able to fulfill that ?

Seetha was known for her abidance to "Pathi dharmam". When Ayodhya'a citizens questioned Seetha's sanctity, Rama left her to prove herself and come out clean. Is this the way a husband should behave? Whatever happens, the first and foremost person to trust a wife should be her husband. Rama knows that she is pure, but could not stop Seetha from Agni pariksha because of the damned "Raj neethi". Sometimes being silent is more dangerous, you need to speak out when you ought to !

The most cherishable moment in a women's life is seeing/sharing the joy and pride in the husband's face, when he is seeing their child for the first time. It is a testimony of their love. What did Rama do? He was not even able to accept them as his sons, because of "Raj neethi". Horrible..Can anyone imagine the hurt and pain of Seetha, when she learnt that? How traumatic it would have been for the little ones..

A father, when he gives his beloved girl's hands in marriage to a man, would wish for only one thing. The groom should keep her happy. Was Rama ever able to acomplish that? Seetha was a princess before marriage and after marriage she lived like a sanyasini, thanks to her beloved husband! All he could do was keep Seetha in tears forever !

Rama says that He loves Seetha, but saying is not enough sir. You should mean it by keeping her happy. That's the oath you took during marriage "I promise to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part".

To conclude Rama abided by Raj neethi, but neither kept his marriage oath nor gave two hoots about Seetha's pathni dharma.

He was a very good king, but the worst husband, the worst father and the worst son-in-law.

To connect it with current yuga, just loving is not enough, but sharing that love and being with your spouse in better or worse, is the key.

So, in my opinion, i never need a Rama for my husband, but an ordinary "human being", who knows and shows love/ understands the importance of being together !!!

I have not intended to hurt anyone's feelings, but just shared my thoughts.. Even now i pray to Rama as God, but i don't want him or his replica as husband !!


  1. after long time.
    dont want Rama as hubby ? how about krishnaa.... ? how about Gauthama Buddha....?

    Essentially these stories exist to make ourselves empathetic and strong enough when we face confusions in life; The whole point will be lost if we get into "character analysis" which will be guided by our limited understanding and laws of our current times....
    mythology ellaam aaraya koodathummaa....anubhavikkanum.....!!

    Cheers.... // Suren

  2. Hi Suren,

    Thanks a lot for your feedback. I agree with your view "anubhavikkanum", but not "arayakkudathu".. I agree to disagree :)

    The reasons being :
    Definition of ithihasa is "a narrative of past events which includes teachings on the goals of human life". Ithihasa lays down the ways of life through its characters. Some examples - Hanuman perfectly exemplifies 'Dasyabhava' devotion, that bonds the master and the servant.His greatness lies in his complete merger with his Lord.
    Sita -- ideal womanhood and dedicated devotion to husband’s welfare.
    Lakshman -- True Brotherhood
    Guhan, Vibeeshan, Sugrivan, Jambavan -- Friendship

    Each and every character signifies the ways of life. Rama is a true example of everything else, except good husband !

    Don't we follow Bhagavad Gita verse by verse? (or atleast make an attempt to abide by it) Then why not follow Ramayana? Don't they say -- u have to be a "ega pathni vrithan" like Rama? Don't they say -- u have to be a "pathi vrathai" like Sita?

    To answer your question -- "Yes, i would prefer to have a loving husband as Krishna (eventhough i have to share), rather than a heartless Rama. You should basically understand other's feelings and try not to hurt -- atleast knowingly, or else u r not even fit to live !!!