It has been a long time since i have blogged.. I have been thinking of posting a few things for a long time.. I think now i have got the time to post them :)
It all started in 2009.. I never knew by then that i was entering into my dark phase of life. I was very happy, expecting to be happy, but everything went for a toss in a month's time. Survived a lot of abuse and assault, but neither did i lose courage nor hope. Person(s) whom i trusted to stand by me forever left me without a trace. I had Almighty and hope to stand by me in those tough times.
I would just keep staring at my mobile screen awaiting an SMS, Skype - just looking for a notification, some stupid websites for information on whereabouts, googling for information/updates by that name.. Nothing, nothing turned up.. Not even a courtesy call / sms asking are you alive? My parents / wellwishers were pissed off and started telling me to move on.. But it was tough. My pillow knows the pain i felt and the loads of tears i have shed. It might be easy for someone to say "Bliss of solitude" "Saade sathi" and stuff like that, but i firmly believe its we who craft our destiny (ofcourse with the guidance and help of Almighty).
When we act irresponsibly and fail to deliver our duties, we can't blame anyone - leave alone "Saade sathi". After so much of discussions with me and myself, i decided to move on.. Even after hearing the news, he dint call / message and say - I am there, wait for me! I am alive , Are u alive?
I decided firmly, not to place myself in the hands of someone who does not care a damn about me! Found someone who knows the meaning of the words "Family", "Responsibility", "Keeping up the marriage vows", "Trust"!
Thank you Renga - for being with me every nano second, for guiding me through my tough times and most of all - for placing my hands firmly in the hands of a family who would take care of me like a princess!
If he had the courage to meet me (even accidentally) - my only question would be "Can you please tell me why did you leave me?".. Not that i am longing or something, just want to know if i have committed some grave mistake which made him flew without a trace. For sure i dont want anything from him, as a matter of fact i have never wanted anything even in the past! Not even a bunch of flowers!
Bygones are bygones, I am happy now with the blessings of Almighty and thats all it matters.. Just penning everything out, so that even the mildest trace of my memory fades out forever!